The Kill (Bury Me) ~ Russia x Reader

What if I wanted to break?

Laugh it all off in your face. . .

What would you do?


He knew you were broken like him, he knew of your struggle. That's the reason he loved you. After all of the pain and misery you still managed to get back up on your feet everytime. You still managed to smile and laugh and actually be normal! He admired your strength. Unlike him. Everyone hated him. Oh he knew all right, plus to add insult to injury, he also knew that eventually you would come to hate him too. Just like all of the others. . .

- - -

So, once again, there he sat-- with a bottle of vodka in one hand -- and a wilted sunflower in the other. He's tried to be normal once again, but everytime he just crashed harder than the last. You were supposed to be that beautiful ray of hope he clung to. Just like the sunflower he held so dearly. Slowly, he brought the bottle to his lips and drunk the small amount of liquid with ease.

He never wanted to become so cruel, so despised. But, nonetheless, he still was. He just couldn't overcome the hardships he endured as well as you did. This was his own way of dealing with it all-- well, either this or pain -- but he tried to subside those emotions for your sake. He didn't want to risk losing you. He'd soon rather be beaten  mercifully again than bring you any kind of pain, physical or emotional.

"Russia, are you in here?" Your voice rang out in the hallway and reached it's way to the slightly open door. He didn't bother answering. He knew you would find him, you always did. Just never like this. Not in this state of mind. Weak. Broken.

"Russia ar--" The words caught in your throat as you found him. He was slumped over in his large desk chair, clutching the alcohol and dead flower for dear life. You stood there in an almost paralyzed state, struggling to hold back the tears that sprung to your eyes. "Ivan. . ."

Russia didn't say anything. He was simply basking in the afterglow as his name rolled off of your tongue. But, his pleasure was short lived as he felt the depression slowly overcome him. He stood from the chair and made his way over to you. His head hung low-- not wanting to meet your eyes. He knew that if he did he would crash all over again. Well, worse than he was about to anyways. . .

What if I fell to the floor?

Couldn't take this anymore. . .

What would you do?

Russia fell to his knees, hands clutching at your sweater, as he looked up at you. The raw emotion in his eyes was enough to know what was wrong. Your tears slowly slid down your face and fell on your jacket leaving small stains. You dropped to your knees, hurriedly wrapping your arms around the larger man, caressing him tightly against you as he tried to regain his 'composure'.

"Ivan. . . It's alright to let it go. It's too much of a struggle to contain any longer. . ." Russia began sobbing into the nape of your neck, mentally locking away the memory of you against his skin, along with your sweet scent. If the worst scenario were to happen, he'd at least want something to remember your caring embrace.

"Please, just leave, I'll only bring misery upon you if you are to stay. . ." Russia confessed. You didn't believe what you were hearing. Misery? To you, if he was involved only happiness was all that you felt. Others may have called you insane for loving the very man that brought fear to them-- but you knew otherwise. He'd gone through numerous accounts of pain and suffering just like you had. You understood why he was the way he was and that only made you understand better than anyone else. You only held him tighter as he continued to sob.

Come break me down

Bury me, bury me,

I am finished with you. . .

He felt you gently lift his head up to meet your eyes. Your wet face seemed to glisten almost angelicly as you smiled. "I'm not leaving anytime soon Russia, I love you too much to want to leave you hurt and broken. . . And for that reason whatever you say can not push me away. . ."

He lunged forward and roughly pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was hard and demanding-- but soft and gentle in it's own way. Within the kiss you could feel all of his emotions rushing forward. Need, want, yearning, and most of all love. That's all you both ever wanted or asked for was love. And you two found it within each other. . .   So what more could either of you ask for?

What if I wanted to fight. . .

Beg for the rest of my life. . .

What Would you do?

You say you manted more,

What are you waiting for?

I'm not running from you. . .